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SQUIRM

by MeanGirls

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1.
im not here to console you i am here to corrode you swallow me whole i will tear at your colon i will curse your intestines and you will know how it feels to be used and abandoned fly by night starve by day you and me babe our contempt will sustain you're stuck in traffic and the worlds collapsing you're late for classes blame it on class war you measure your worth by the hours you waste waist-deep in restaurants working for minimum wage
2.
razor blades, cut me pretty... please? shave away bone, save for perfect symmetry shape me new, take this old bag of bones shield me from this wave of heat the over whelming rush of disgust, oh god i hate myself do you see, what i see when i look in the mirror? im gonna be born again! cleansed in the fire of hell and damnation laugh it up, that old tired joke you're dressed in drag and dragging down a whole lot of folks who didnt expect the punch line to be do literal break the bones, and this forsaken flesh slit my throat and fuck it while you're at it do you see what i see when you beat out my last breath? i'm gonna be born again! cleansed in the fire of hell and damnation
3.
Gunsmoker 02:35
she's got the prettiest teeth i can't think of anything sweeter than painlessly removing each and grinding them down to a powder looking this good don't come cheap i got the wardrobe on wholesale when the bodies are dead the clothes are free when the bullets are flying i wait for the gun smoke to clear i got caught red handed dressing myself in your skin i should be so embarrassed to take advantage when you let me in why do you even let me in? i spent the night under your bed carving my name in your mattress when i woke up i thought you were dead there was blood all over my cheat i didn't know how to say goodbye i didn't know how to walk away i cut a little piece out of my brain and hoped to never remember - the way to get back i got caught red handed dressing myself in your skin i should be so embarrassed to take advantage when you let me in why do you even let me in?
4.
it feels ugly as sin and it never forgives can you crawl deep enough? can you wash off the stench? when life gives you limits, you sharpen your teeth and with something acidic you rinse out the weakness could you love my summer body? if i was the trunk of a tree you could cut me in half and count twenty eight rings but i wouldn't trade every scar in my bark for a day in the scum-ridden shoes that you walk in tell me all about, the unsightly bodies you don't see fit to see the light of the sun and in the weight of our pain i will paint you in blood may you squirm and you choke in all the damage you've done could you love my summer body?
5.
quiet places - stumbling into intoxicated - light a match and burn it out twenty seven years i'm severing every string that bound me to the old dead life you look so sweet stripped to the bone as you sink your teeth into my skull covered in crimson -imploding bodies shimmer in the sunlight - combust into the void of space without a face. not human at all without a tongue, maybe we're all better off i want to tell you all of my secrets i want to show you the sudden total dark i want to eat your brains and gain your knowledge i want to drink your blood, and never die
6.
I’m not love sick, but I’m sick enough to never let go of the past To the point where I become an archaeologist From all the shit I dig up and, yeah, I’ve been a wreck For weeks at a time, but things got better I’m doing fine I scream at myself in the mirror to see if I believe If all these questions have been answered Like what the hell is wrong with me I’ll figure it out eventually Waiting for this mirage to become a lake That I can drown in to take away this pain But now it’s not so bad, at least that’s what I think At least I can get out of bed I guess I’m better, I guess I’m better, I guess I’m better I guess… I’m doing fine I scream at myself in the mirror to see if I believe If all these question have been answered Like what the hell is wrong with me I’ll figure it out eventually
7.
and i can't decide why you'd want to be so miserable and ornery you're the residual stench of an embarrassing shit call me what you will, but you're no feminist trans exclusive radical fecal matter we left you behind and we're not looking back so strap your boots and scrape the hill stepped in a flaming bag of feminist excrement this aint your club for spreading lies reach for the sky and flush your ass goodbye
8.
drank a beer in the bathtub while i soaked in regret who could love such a scumbag? who could fuck such an idiot? mowed the yard without pants on locked myself out of the house so i waited for you to come home and let me in but i forgot you moved out...
9.
Cold Showers 02:04
there's something in your posture that gives when you are weak you're old, you're callous, you're awkward am I your cause for losing sleep? the warmth that radiates i was a phantom in your embrace i was a sad song to your fatal mistake i was the flaw in your plan for escape and there's nothing like cold showers to wake you to the fact that this lonely beds no comfort and he's never coming back its just foggy mirrors and fingerprints filthy secrets and sentiment we are the sum of our every mistake

credits

released February 12, 2016

Engineered/Mixed by Jan Nowicki at Red Moon Recording in November 2015
'i'm fine, or whatever' was recorded and mixed by Raine
All songs Mastered by Sir Wesley Powers at Signal Perception January 2016

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MeanGirls Austin, Texas

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